Political Chowder's NUMBER OF THE WEEK - Sponsored by www.no-deal.org



November 25, 2007
NUMBER OF THE WEEK
 72
From: Grist.org



UNDERSTANDING
FOOD LABELS YOU
MIGHT ENCOUNTER
AT WHOLE FOODS.

by G. XAVIER ROBILLARD

Free-Range

Animals raised with a free-range lifestyle have plenty of room to stretch out and eat bugs. This is particularly important for chickens, which need at least two square feet of space at all times. Factory-farming conditions are like living in apartment buildings in big cities: a co-op is formed within the coop, and the poultry have grinding meetings on where to put the satellite dish and how much to tip the doorman at Christmas. As in a human co-op, any new members deemed unsatisfactory or weak are pecked to death. Other free-range items, such as tofu, need less room to grow.

Natural

Pretty much everything is natural, including this sentence. What makes it natural? The fact that it has the word "natural." The only things in this store that aren't natural are the highly coifed blonds who shop here. Natural foods include any combination of natural flavorings, natural ingredients, and a high price, since it's human nature to pay more for anything that we imagine will keep us alive forever.

Conventional

Don't let anyone see you buying this, or you'll forever be associated with bridge games, Norman Rockwell paintings, and missionary-style sex in the minivan parked in the cul-de-sac. Conventional says, "I love the system," and we're not even sure why you're shopping here. You don't want paper or plastic—you have a bag made of the skin of a clubbed infant seal. Oh, you came to grind your own peanut butter? Great. Get your bulk items and go.

Local

This is food grown by local farmers who dislike you because you're living in the subdivision that used to be prime farmland owned by their grandparents. Local food may be purchased at farm stands, which is where your children will someday be buying pot. If you buy local organic foods, you may skip dinner altogether and ascend directly to heaven, where you'll be greeted by 72 varietals of virgin olive oil.

Toxic

As a word of warning, the Surgeon General recommends you don't eat toxics more than three to four times per week. To qualify for this label, a company must pass rigorous standards for disease, unsafe working conditions, and chemical disasters. Just like smoking, drinking, and spending time with your mother-in-law, toxic foods should be avoided by pregnant women. On the plus side, they are frequently on special.

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www.no-deal.org

Portland Phoenix Reveals Ugly Side of Verizon/FairPoint Merger

Portland Phoenix Press Release
November 14, 2007
PORTLAND, Maine - This morning, the Portland Phoenix exclusively reports that the FairPoint-Verizon deal, which would put all of Verizon's northern New England telecommunications resources in the hands of FairPoint communications company, is based on a series of bad financial assumptions, including that labor unions will accept zero-percent raises for seven years, and that gasoline prices will remain constant until at least the year 2015.

The story, "No Raises for Seven Years," is based on filings with the Maine Public Utilities Commission, and is available in print and on the Phoenix's website, www.thePhoenix.com. It addresses the $2.7 billion merger deal between the two publicly-traded communications companies, which is under review by public-utilities regulators in Maine, New Hampshire, and Vermont.

The story, by Portland Phoenix managing editor Jeff Inglis, also reveals that, should the merger proceed, FairPoint's financial plans include:

  • Spending no more money in 2015 than in 2008 on operating its telephone and internet services in Maine, New Hampshire, and Vermont.
  • Reducing shareholder equity by $1.1 billion, 25 percent more than the company has publicly stated elsewhere.
  • The possibility that there will be no money available for FairPoint to pay off about $2 billion in debt.
  • Losing money on the broadband-internet technology the company asserts will be the biggest benefit to its prospective new customers (DSL).



There are many, many more issues that need to be examined. This is just a snippet of what's wrong with this deal. For more in depth details, please go on-line to www.no-deal.org. This is a bad deal for consumers, tax payers, rate payers, our communities and for the economic growth of New Hampshire.